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So, I'm gonna be a father.

That's right, adulthood finally caught up with me.

In just a couple more days Eriko and I will have ou first baby if everything goes according to plan. She and I have made a new little life...and we're responsible for his or her little life. I have difficulty finding the right words to express the joy I feel. My heart is overflowing with all these feelings and it is truly wonderful.
I've been watching Eriko's belly grow steadily, bit by bit. I've seen her posture change, her hips sway differently when she walks now. I see the joy in her eyes to. I catch glimpses of her looking at her belly, rubbing her hands feeling the beautiful creature inside. I also se her worrying, stress out and give in a little bit to fear and uncertainty.
At night, in bed, I feel her breathing slow. She rolls to one side or to the other, but not often face up. In the middle of the night her leg hops on my hip, her arm flies over my chest. I put my  had on her belly and feel the baby move within...and wonder...and wonder.
We decided not to learn the baby's sex, and for the past 9 months the real possibility that this little kid will be a boy or a girl has occupied my thoughts. I guess I always thought I'd have a boy but its not until this pregnancy that I have thought that it might be a girl. I've imagined her life as a girl, all the things she'll see, enjoy and suffer. I'm learning to see the world as a girl, with its joys and threats. I'm glad we never learned the baby's sex because i would probably not have thought so deeply and carefully about the possibility of her being a girl.
Names. Lots of thoughts on names but no final decision yet. The baby's three things already, the baby belongs to three lands, languages and ways of life already. The name has to be able to move between all three. It isn't easy. One thing I know for a fact, is that although this trinity of identities will be confusing and hard to deal with at times, baby will certainly love the food, like papa.
I'm going to be a father, probably on Wednesday...I can't wait.
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